I have always considered myself as a friendly and nice guy. I have lots of friends and I am sure that they think the same way about me (or do they? hmm). But I have noticed lately, especially with the new people I meet either in school or the office, they all seem to kind of find me at first as an arrogant, cocky, know-it-all kind of guy. Actually not kind of, they really do think I’m an asshole and a douche.
There was this one instance when my sister was scanning my ID picture at their office. Her colleague saw that my picture was flashing on screen in full view. And he asked, “Ang angas naman ng lalaki na yan, who is that?” (Imagine that. Even in pictures I appear arrogant! lol) My sister just gave him a smirk and answered him who I was. She told me this that night, and she was just laughing. Because actually even my sisters, they tease me that I am really ‘suplado’. My other sister’s friend told her that I am too “formal”.
One of my former colleagues from my first work, who is now my friend, told me straight that at first he thought I was an “arrogant asshole” who just seems to know it all. Actually when I entered the company nobody liked me because of my “full of hot air” aura. A colleague told me how they all hated me at first. They would never invite me for lunch or break. And everytime I invited myself to join them (Oh God, this is such a loser thing to do), they resented it. They would all go “Why is he coming with us? We don’t want him around. Uninvite him please!” Of course, me thinking that I am friendly and nice and all that didn’t notice this. I was completely clueless.
Another colleague told me that I need to be nicer and be more sensitive with my words and in my approach and how I approach people, then I’ll be likeable. Another one told me that I’m the type who won’t take anyone’s crap and that could be mistaken for arrogance by some people.
Once I talked to one of my college friends and asked him what he thinks of me and he told me that he wouldn’t call me ‘maangas’ or ‘mahangin’ rather I can be a little arrogant and snobbish when the mood hits me. But that’s just only in the start he guesses because I don’t know them well enough.
Supposedly a high school friend told me when we met for the first time years after we graduated in high school that I acted a little too braggy and airy in my manner of speaking but not about material things or anything like that but instead what I actually know. It seemed to her then that I speak like I know everything and that I can level anyone intellectually. It appeared to her that I don’t want to be the less intelligent person compared to anyone and appear weak in the eyes of others but she told me also that for the most part it is not a bad thing. People who don’t have the same wavelength as me just can’t ride with me and that’s their problem she said.
One of my current officemates told me (note that we haven’t even known each other for a day at this point) through Yahoo Messenger, just out of the blue, that I appear “older” like I act more mature and I always talk with an air of authority and with no nonsense.
Another one from my current work once pulled me aside as we were walking home and told me that all along she thought I was really snobbish and a bit arrogant and cocky. But she later realized that she was wrong about this. She found out that I am actually very attentive when spoken to and also a very good listener which is a sign that a person doesn’t really think the world revolves around him.
I asked one of my closest friends if that’s in any way true. And she answered me that I appear arrogant sometimes. I was surprised to learn that from her. Because I know deep in my heart it’s not in my intention to be arrogant. I mean I hate arrogant people and definitely I don’t wanna be one! One of my friends also told me that I should work on my rapport instead. Now I realized that maybe I really do appear arrogant and that even if I don’t intend to be, it is just how people see me. And perhaps I could just try at least to change my approach to people a bit and be more open and warm to them even at first. I mean I can try…
…but I am what I am. And if you don’t like it, then that’s your problem. I always stand by my philosophy of “Just love or hate me. I don’t want in between.” So there, I rest this case.